Six goblins, three blood elves, a tauren, a pandaren, and a dog get on an air ship. No one laughs, but they all get pretty drunk. We set out from Orgimmar on an airship called the Blue Dolphin in the early evening of Sunday, July 5th, 617 King’s Calendar. Our plan was to jump off the airship in mid-flight in early morning hours when we were over The Crossroads in the Northern Barrens. I was already drunk when I got to the airship, so it didn’t really occur to me how I was going to get off the Blue Dolphin, but that didn’t really seem like a big deal to me at the time.
My new compatriots and I drank most of the contents of the meager bar that the airship had on board by the time we were ready to get off. The twelve of us gathered late at night on the deck of the ship. We were the only ones there when we started to disembark. The goblins all grabbed onto handles installed into the sides of the massive crate they had brought with them. They lifted it over the side, and threw it off while still holding the handles. They fell for a short time, and then a parachute popped out of it and the slowly descended to the barren landscape below. One of the elves grabbed the dog and, along with the other two elves, drank a potion and jumped off the side where the fell like a feather, landing softly on the ground below.
That left me, the tauren, and the goblin adventurer alone on the deck of the ship. I felt that this was a great time to let everyone know that I had no way of getting down without dying. The tauren quickly scrounged around for a parachute which he gave me. I put it on and jumped. My memory goes black and I woke up the next day in The Crossroads in horrible pain with a slight hangover.
We set out from there north to where the goblins believed there were precious metals to be found. Several uneventful days went by until we came to an oasis. We made camp there and, that night, five skeletons of soldiers from wars long past emerged from the water and attacked the party. The adventurers quickly dealt with them. We found amongst their bones a magical hammer of great power. The tauren took it with glee.
We scoured the hills for a few more days until a member of our party started to walk off like a golbin possessed towards a cave. As we followed him, we began to hear the siren call of a few harpies. They were eliminated with extreme prejudice. We searched the cave that they made their lair in, and found a tunnel that led deeper in. We followed it and came to a brackish pool of water. Inside of it was an otyugh that nearly killed one of the blood elves. Amongst offal of the otyugh’s pool, we found a chest which contained some gold and a funny looking statue of a squatting monster.
When we left the cave a group of humans attacked us. They were led by two humans who called themselves James and Roland. James had some weird accent that kept changing. We dealt with them and set out back to Orgimmar. In Orgimmar, we sold our loot and negotiated a deal with the goblins so they wouldn’t get a share of the magic items. Instead we would get a 5% discount on all magic items we bought through their vendor, a wizard named Fredrick.
We took the funny looking statue to an appraiser and he had four more that looked the exact same. We bought those four and it was at this point that I remembered something from a book I had once read in Lordaeron that sounded eerily similar to what he told us about the five statues. The only detail I could remember was that it was bound in human skin. We decided to track down this book to find out more about the statues.